I apologise Katie if you'd rather this were private, say the word and this is gone into the ether, but I have boundary issues n can never tell what's too far... plus I'm hungover n tired, not a great combo.
For those who don't know already, get off my blog you fairweather readers. But seriously, she is amazing, in fact if I'd known her at any other time in my life I would've chased her to the ends of the Earth... then watched as she proved the world was flat by jumping off rather than talk to me :p
The fact of the matter is, and I'v told her this already so it's no great revelation to her, I have boundary issues I'm not a completely oblivious twat like some people I know... I swear they seem to know less and less every time, it's like school going backwards for them... anyway, off topic here... like I was saying, I am finding it hard to be sure if I like her for her or if she's just a rebound, which she never should be.
We've talked about it, I've told her it's a very bad idea to fall for me, I don't know what I want at the best of times, and right now my head's a mess so it's impossible for anybody to know what I want... we came to the conclusion that if it happens it happens, but I still feel immensely guilty if I end up stringing her along then breaking her heart...
Anyway, I'm writing this blog because I'm attempting to empty my mind in order to try something advised to me by a good friend... a great friend, but that's a moot point... but it's not working. I feel like I'm falling for this grril (in-joke, sorry) but am I falling for her, or for what I see her as?
I think I've just decided... Katie Kat, you are an incredible lass, and you deserve so much better than a guy who can't make his mind up if he likes you or not, and as hard as it is for me to say maybe you should ... WE should... take steps to make sure you don't fall for me until I know what you really mean to me... why'd you have to do this to me? :p I just wanted to have some fun, enjoy my youth, sleep around, and you had to be so bloody perfect that I couldn't help falling for you, didn't you? :)
I'll let you all know what I decide, as if you care, but I will be telling her before any of you, it's only right.
Que sera, sera.
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