Today it was my brother... usually I'm on his side, but today he pushed it waaaay too far. I've not had a great day today in general, and so my temper was already a little raw, but thankfully I held it in and didn't hit him, didn't shout and scream in the middle of the town centre.
I'd been sent, once again, to buy the presents and cards for dads birthday. Why every special occasion, birthday, anniversary, Christmas, etc. I'm the one stuck getting it all is beyond me. I had my mothers xmas gift in since July, and I've had dads birthday prezzie in for the past month n a bit. So why am I the one sent to get him things for everybody else to give to him? Happens every time, Christmas is worst, I have the stuff in looooong before it comes along, and yet mam still waits til the last week to say 'could you get this for your nanna, I can't make it to the town without her' dad still waits til 2 weeks before the day to say 'can you get your mams card for me?' and Tony will insist on claiming to be working and so busy he can't get me a present, but sends me down to buy my own, pay for it with my money which he calims he'll pay me back, but forgts to mention he won't until September.
Anyway, today he claimed to have work to get out of the house without mam asking what he's up to, where he's going, and telling him to go do this n that for her, so he asked me to get dad some t-shirts from primark (not even his idea) and then borrowed the money from me to get them himself. He got to the town shortly before I was leaving, and when I told him to pick out a couple of t-shirts he went in a huff claiming I should've done that already and that he's not going to do anything.
This led to an argument about how he's such a selfish arrogant little prick, how he begged me to buy splinter cell conviction so we could play the co-op, then proceeded to play it with his mates while I was in the room. Now I'v been told I must buy him Red Dead Redemption because he doesn't have the money right now and needs the game this minute, even though it's sold out everywhere. He says he'll pay me back, the last time he did that he turned around half an hour later and asked for the money back for something else. He takes money from me constantly, and pays me back, then borrows it again.. And for what? He spends his wages after a week of having them, so for 3 weeks I have to fucking keep him using my student loan which is rapidly running out.
Not to mention whenever we spend any kind of time together as brothers he insists it's on his time and his terms, I'm kicked out the room if any of his mates suddenly is free to come up, and then he has the cheek to tell me he hates staying in and playing the xbox all the time. When I asked him the last time he had invited me out anywhere, Rileys, a pub, or just out for the hell of it, he couldn't say, and he has never once paid for any of those times when we have gone out to do something.
So to him I'm a fucking butler. I buy him things, pay for his days out, give him money when he asks and I'm here as a form of entertainment whenever he is bored and has nobody else. And what's more, I don't even get paid for this, I just get the privilege of serving him... that's not even a butler, that's slavery.
I have been nothing but selfless with him and most others, I give and give and give, and what have I gotten in return? A broken heart from a girl who needed an introduction to relationships and used me as such, sore legs from a mother who sends me to do every little thing that she could possibly think of coz she's too lazy to get up n do it herself, a bank balance that will soon be in the minus numbers due to paying for everything for everybody, a brother who treats me like his own personal blockbusters, oh, and he lends my dvds and our games out and never gets them back. I'm sure there are a lot of other things I've gotten for being fairly selfless, but it's not in my nature to change, so I will continue to be taken advantage of by people who are supposed to care.
Well, to all of you out there who have done so in the past, will in the future, or are currently doing so now, hope you're happy, I'm gunna die young, miserable and it's probably safe to say completely overwhelmed by debt.
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