SPOILER ALERT: Suicidal thoughts ahead...

So, side effects of these new tablets... dry mouth, got it, trouble sleeping, had that since I was about 7, impotence, reduced sex drive and performance... I'm 20, there is no amount of tablets to mess with my sex drive, and I have never had a problem with impotence... usually too potent ;p ... sorry.

Basically I've suffered most of the possible side effects, including insomnia and drowsiness.. weird, but somehow managed it, :p

The part that worries me is the suicidal thoughts. Apparently I can expect those to come along every once in a while, if they persist I should see the doc, but only if it lasts more than a few days. Lovely.

I got those today. I have never been suicidal... well, once, under the influence of depression at an early stage of treatment. But I'd never even considered it, in fact I always used to say I'd die by gunshot to the head, possibly from myself, but only through Russian Roulette, not because I wanted to kill myself.

And let me tell you, because I used to throw off suicide talk as attention seeking, when those thoughts come to you and you genuinely start to consider it, thinking about how to do it, how to make it so that the people you care about don't get so hurt and don't suffer so much through your actions, all the pros and cons... that scares you. And you had better hope to God that fear stops you. Because otherwise you might just go through with it.

Sorry this was so real, I'll make the next 1 more lighthearted, promise :p