Sunday, 2 May 2010

Everybody likes to try new flavours, but we all have favourites we'd prefer constantly....

Where the inspiration for most of my blogs comes from, this was sparked by House.

Open marriages... not such a bad idea. However, I find them dubious.

An open relationship I can get behind, sex is sex, it is possible to separate that as a physical act which doesn't require intimacy or emotion. Easy for some people, not for everyone, so it would only work in some cases. We all like to have a best friend who is there for us, someone we can tell every detail to and not feel judged, somebody who will hold us close when we need it and just talk or spend time with them the rest of the time. But if we need rough hard meaningless no strings sex where we can ask for exactly what we want even if we could with our partner, it wouldn't be the same. To use a rather extreme example, if you like to be whipped brutally and your partner either isn't into it or isn't very good at it, then it hurts more to lie and stay with them and keep it up because the truth will come out, and the longer it takes the worse it will be.

However, with marriage it's a different matter. I know, I'm a romantic at heart, so sue me. But marriage is something else entirely. It is supposed to involve love between both parties, relationships don't guarantee that... neither does marriage, unfortunately, but it should.

If it's just a case of you like each other, you enjoy spending time with each other and you have fun together, then fool around as much as you like, just be careful nobody you're sleeping with (including your boyfriend/ girlfriend) falls any deeper for you than you have for them. That's not easy, but if you fuck up then at least you get to learn from your mistakes that open relationships either aren't for you or that you need to find somebody more suitable if it's ever gunna happen again.

But when dealing with love, a major problem occurs. If you both love each other but your sex life isn't as great as you want it and it can't be improved for whatever reason, then that's fine, but still no open marriages. Love, on either side or both, will cause jealousy. Even in the most laid back, secure and confident people love creates jealousy. So when you want to fool around, if you're in love, you will hold back, because if you think about it from the other perspective, how would you feel if they were sleeping with somebody else?

Yes, if you love them you should trust them, give them permission to do it, but it will eat away at you inside, which will show and that will cause arguments unless you are honest about it, and if you do that then they will get sick of hearing it and that will cause arguments too... so it will ruin your relationship in the long run.

If you love them, don't let them go, if they love you then you're all they need. And if you're worried they're cheating secretly, bring up the subject to trick them and invest in a chastity belt just in case :p

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