When you care enough to send the very best...

I've been thinking again... 2am seems to do that to me... not good, but one problem at a time. I've been thinking about those things we never get to say to the people who have hurt us, or who have just faded from our lives. Things like 'I'm sorry', 'I forgive you' and mostly 'thank you'.

Strange, right? Well, there's a reason. We all make our own mistakes, with or without the help of others, and a lot of people have come and gone over the years, all of which has made me me. I've said it a million times, I'm at least partly the person I am today because of my experiences. And I like me.

So to all those people who have hurt me - I forgive you, I haven't made that mistake since and don't plan to in the future. Also, thank you, for making me a stronger person, because without you I wouldn't have needed to rethink things, and then I'd be naive, immature, and a waste of space, not unlike yourselves, but you are the sum of your experiences, and if brute strength and force are all you know then one day you'll find a problem you can't overcome with those and that will make you into a better person too. I'm just sorry I couldn't have helped accomplish that, for your sake as much as mine, but que sera, sera.

I was fuming earlier today when thinking about somebody I used to know, and still see on an infrequent basis... well, a group of them actually, but it's mainly one person. That was until I realised even he has contributed something good to my life, by making me see through his bullshit I'm now fairly good at reading peoples motives and a little more suspicious. Of course, there's a fine line between that and paranoia, but I haven't completely crossed it yet, so it's a good thing.

Another example is that he has given me something to write about here, which I enjoy doing. A good friend once told me that they believe there are no bad people, simply bad choices. And now I finally believe it, because even the worst humanity has to offer has managed, inadvertently and completely unintentionally I'm sure, to contribute towards something good in somebody else's' life.

And so, I can't hold a grudge. And I'm currently on antidepressants. Not the best endorsement to be selling this whole thing, borderline religious, which I realise and hate, but I believe it, and it works for me.

So to everybody reading this, since I assume nobody random just reads my innermost thoughts on a whim, although it is possible... anyway, to all of you who I know or have known, thank you for making me who I am right now, I am honestly pretty content with it.