I suppose it's just nerves, and I have always been something of a perfectionist, but I can't help thinking there's something I've missed... Something hidden away and forgotten about, that won't surface until it's the perfect time for it to fuck everything up... Hell, maybe I'm just being paranoid.
Anyway, that wasn't what I came on here to talk about.
I have another appointment on Tuesday with the counsellor, and I'm not sure I have anything to say. The problems I had back then are still with me, but I've grown used to them, accept they're a part of my life and that I'll deal with them some day, if not soon then eventually. More importantly, I haven't been on here to rant in a while... well, I have, but not about anything that actually matters to me, more like tiny annoyances that I want to tell other people about in the hopes they'll see things my way, you can't go to a counsellor for those, it's a waste.
But I promised myself and a few others I'd give him another try, the thing that's holding me back most of all is that we don't seem to click. I don't feel any connection at all, and if you don't feel that then you will hide more than you'll tell to them, and that's just counter-productive. If I feel I need more work on things, then I'll request another counsellor, see if I click with them, and keep going til I find one I do. If not, then I guess Tuesday is my last session... 2 sessions and I'm cured? Bullshit. I'm not cured, I just have some fucking amazing people around me who have done everything that is in their power to do in order to get me back on track.
I'll see how I feel after Tuesdays session, and I'll let you all know.
Oh, and P.S. ... So what, I like the green.
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