I started this before I went away, so forgive some parts, I was a little preoccupied with packing and getting things ready and nerves etc.
You're Just a Beard with an Idiot Hanging off it.
From the right... or wrong.. perspective, honestly becomes cowardice, loyalty becomes narrow-mindedness, niceness becomes naivety, imagination becomes paranoia, and so on... I have always seen both sides, and always been pretty good at turning the positives into negatives, usually in an attempt to put myself down and show to others that I am not this selfless wonderful person they think I am, but am in fact a cruel heartless cowardly bastard who is in it for what he can get. I also turn the negatives into positives too, but that's to show others that they aren't vicious or evil. Hypocritical, I know, but I find it hard to believe that anything I've done has made a difference.
Instant Classics - an Oxymoron.
From the rat pack waaaay back in the forties and fifties, the unbelievable and unstopable power of the Beatles and the Stones in the swinging sixties, prog rock bands like Queen and Floyd in the psychedelic seventies to the power ballads of the enigmatic eighties, music hit its peak in the 20th century, so why is it that nobody has actually tried to revive any of this? I don't understand how people can say anything from this century is an instant classic, because they pale in comparison to the worst of the songs from those previously mentioned categories... As far as I can tell, the most popular songs these days have 5 words in them, on a constant loop, because when people are drunk they can't understand comprehensive lyrics or complex guitar riffs... Fine, when they're out this lot can be good, even I sing along to them at times, but why are they so popular when people are sober? I don't see the appeal other than to reminisce about the nights out, which is fine if it's background noise or just the first 5 seconds which is basically the full song just without the loop...
Auch Aye The News.
Scotland was great, Katie was great.... well, more than great, Katie is amazing, I miss her already, last night felt strange falling asleep without her.... Anyway, maybe I'll write a full blog on it when I feel like it... if I feel like it... but for now lets leave it as I love the girl and move on.
And Now for Something Completely Different.
Giulia is gone, apparently forever, although I don't doubt her stubbornness I am also aware that the old Giulia is still in there trying to apologise and break free from the Giulia I forced her to become through jealousy (mine, not hers) and if that Giulia wins and comes back then maybe I can forgive her. I know that all of you are pretty much screaming 'oh, God, not again' but this is my blog, you don't like it, don't read it. You don't like me, you don't have to talk to me, simple as... Anyway, the Giulia who hurt me recently was not the girl I knew and loved... just a phrase, although I did fall for her, so maybe not.... And the girl I knew was scared of becoming a vicious bitch, kept warning me she'd hurt me because she is the one who feels the guilt.
I'm not saying she's schizo, but that doesn't mean split personalities, just split mind. I'm saying we are all several people, I think I wrote a post on it earlier, and that the one who hurt me is a front, she needs to be cold and cruel to protect herself, the real her, the best friend that I miss and could do with right now really... But that's another story for another time... Basically, I want that Giulia back, but as long as she is with AJ she will always dislike what I have to say as a friend, and be able to pass it off in her mind as just me being jealous again. And now she's burned the bridge, or so she thinks, and is too stubborn to swim across and ask for help to rebuild it, so even if they do break up, when she needs a friend more than anything, she won't come to me... which is a shame, but it's her choice, her life, and I really hope it works for her.
And now, the End is Near...
So that's it... yes, I'm aware Giulia got a lot of time today, but it needed to be said because a lot of my friends don't understand that the girl she became in order to cut me from her life was not the same one who I knew for two years. And how are they meant to know that? They just got a peek in the window, saw her throw a few plates and assumed it was an abusive relationship, then went home, frustrated and threw a plate at me to try and knock some sense into me later... Yeah, pot/kettle is coming into it, being harsh about her to show how she was being harsh to me, it didn't work so well without the full story, and some of the pages can only be found in the dark.
I'll take no shit from her now, and that goes for everybody else too, from now on you don't like me or something I say you can live a long, happy and blissfully ignorant life without me.
I also know that all the juicy Scotland gossip is missing, and I might update you all, or I might just leave it as I enjoyed it and I love my girlfriend... not sure I'm head over heels, walk through fire in love just yet, but she's broken down a lot of barriers and she's surprisingly understanding and patient when it comes to the last few.
And I think that's about everything I needed to say, so byee.
